Time for a New Project

We are officially remodeling.

Last summer, we worked diligently on the yard. I hired my girlfriends to come “help”.

For me, that meant I get to take baby steps into this new world.

1. I don’t have to dig.

2. I don’t have to plant.

3. I will water.

4. I will shop for plants and other fun stuff.

5. I will still be organizing the world around me. (control freak).

6. I will pay money to NOT dig and plant.

Ha! I enjoy sitting outdoors looking at “our” hard work. When I drive up the driveway, I am pleased and proud that “we” did all that hot work!

Fast forward 4 months. Here we are in January, starting a new project. No girlfriends. Just us.  You can pray for us, if you are so inclined.

So step one was to get Ronnie to commit to the project.

Wow! I can’t tell you how many objections I had to overcome.  I know that objections are just requests for more information, so I tried to use my best marketing techniques to answer his questions and sell him on the idea.

It must have worked, because three months after I began the campaign, he showed up for the appointment with our new friend Gail at Lowe’s.   She’s a magician, let me tell you!  We know we are over our head when you talk about construction.

The new project:

The front bathroom. The one our visitors see.  Our home is around 30 years old, and it needed to be redone.  We didn’t want to spend a lot, just enough to update it for selling purposes, in case we decide to downsize.

We decided to use a GC (General Contractor) to install a simple walk in shower and hardware and replace the vanity and counter top.  We were pleased that Gail came by first to take a peek and take some general measurements. Then, she brought the GC by and took even more measurements.

We spent a lot of time talking about what we thought it should look like when it’s done, the colors, textures and any changes we might consider.  I really felt like they listened well, and didn’t try to sell us on anything extravagant. The budget was always at the top of mind.

I’ve always loved the furniture vanities popular in some custom homes, so it was decided that I would be in charge of acquiring that piece of furniture and finishing it to match.

Gail found the most beautiful granite top, called Chaldonea, so the race is on!

I searched all the online garage sales and used a couple of apps to locate the perfect piece.  A beautiful maple Basset Buffet.

vanity buffet
This was a great purchase at $100.00. It will be perfect for the vanity.

Today, I find we are starting in 6 days! We were so excited, it’s like finding out you won a prize!   I ran to my favorite “paint” store and quickly got directions from Melanie at Sisters Reclaimed, in our cute little downtown .  I picked up a few supplies and off we went!

Step one:   WASH the buffet.  Really, that’s what she said.  With Dawn.    That was too easy.

Step two:  Ronnie will repair the one drawer that has a loose groove.   GLUE.

Step three:  Let it dry.   I got this!

Step four : Paint.  We are using Annie Sloan Graphite… recommended by Melanie.  I added three coats of paint, then finished it with a clear wax.  I have to say, I almost choked when I saw the price because I haven’t had time to be familiar with the cost of paint lately, but it is so worth the cost. The paint is smooth, pretty and the coverage was thorough.   The brush recommended for the wax was awesome.  I will treasure it always for future projects.

After three weeks, it appears very durable and I love it!

And BAM! The magic of the internet.

It only took a few days, a couple of guys running in and out of the house and some banging and clanging (which drove Ronnie crazy).  I must say, my favorite thing is the buffet and the space we gained.

chalk painted buffet, now vanity
Finished, well almost. Just a couple small pieces to add to each side to camo the plumbing.

I apologize for the lighting of this picture, but I wanted you to see, because there are still a couple of slight problems with which to deal.

  1. Hardware.  The old hardware is quaint and I’m debating about adding some sleek new replacements- in bronze.
  2. The water connectors to the next room.   My first thought is to build little “doors” on each side, and finish them to match the buffet-turned-vanity.  Another option may be to place inserts that are painted to match the wall, giving the vanity more attention.
  3. I’m still looking for some farmhouse type of container for my airbrush system.
  4. I think I’d love a small flower arrangement in the corner (or a lamp).

I’m curious about your thoughts.

Further, we chose a simple walk in shower insert and opted out of having a shower door because I like (love) my shower curtain, and I don’t like cleaning shower doors and tracks. I replaced the stainless curtain rod with one that matched the shower, and we purchased bronzed fixtures throughout.  Ronnie spent a couple hours patching the shower curtain rod holes and touching up the wall and trim paint.  We had to rehang the towel and toilet paper holders.  I stole the mirror from the mud room bath because it was just asking to be moved to a new home.

When the tub/shower combo was removed, the contractor discovered some work not properly completed during the original construction.  After a day of correction and new concrete work, the shower was installed with lots of banging and noise.

Note to self: remove everything from the wall behind the new shower before they start installation!

In all, we are happy with the process. We learned a lot and are still trying to make some decisions regarding the few unexpected items.

We gained 3 inches of floor space… which means my flooring doesn’t fit, so that’s another project, and of course, what to do about the view of the plumbing.

It’s bright, and replacing the tub with a walk-in makes the room look so much larger.  The insert cleans easily and the counter top is beautiful.  The green is still my favorite.

When I was a kid, my mom and dad would always suggest we “live with it awhile” before making decisions on change.  We are at that stage now.  We are living with it.  Happily.

This project definitely fits with our goals of keeping our projects about living better!

The Magic of Adulthood

Something happens when you are a young parent.  Every baby seems a bit brighter than the last, more talented than the neighbors child and more calm than the kid at the day care.  Oh, and those eyes! How adorable and did you know her poop smells sweet?

I remember one evening after work, sitting in my mother in law’s den after dinner talking about all the important lessons I wanted to teach my newborn.  Music, (classical, of course) books (Chaucer, thank you) and museums (art!).  I went on and on about what was available in our large city and how important it was for my baby to know all of them.  She said (probably in an effort to get me to stop talking), “I’m sure you’ll give your baby a wonderful life and then, you’ll have to enjoy the magic of adulthood”.   I didn’t understand.

Every child has challenges and rewards… even the golden and seemingly perfect require special attention that keeps a mom busy from daylight to dark.

Teens stretch the boundaries, practicing what we taught them as babies, to see if it will get them to adulthood at a quicker pace.  Letting them (and encouraging them) to reach a little further with each experience may be a little tough, but necessary.

How else will they learn to properly react and to make those secondary decisions? Tethers like rules, curfews, dress codes, speed limits, allowances… all are about living better in the future.  They are the seatbelt that keeps our children safe in the traffic of life.

Then the true magic happens.  They live to adulthood.  They graduate, make a few decisions, regret a few choices and reboot to survive nicely… without you.  Making that adjustment is easier for some parents (and children) than others.  It can be a sad time or a glorious freeing time.

Some however, must be stuck in the middle for a bit.  Being stuck in the middle can be an obvious bother to the new adult and the parent… that’s where I was for a long time. Stuck in the middle. Between their childhood and their adulthood. Between guiding and nurturing and helping them move on! Eventually, they move and finding your place becomes a little more difficult.

Stuck in the middle is like being forced to live the life of a wall flower. With emotions swelling up when you (think you know) know the answer, they won’t listen and both are afraid to take that step out – for fear of offending someone or being outdated and just flat wrong, or being ridiculed for a belief.  After spending years as the teacher, all of a sudden they can think for themselves and you wonder… “who told them they could do that”?  It’s humorous when you think of it.

Just recently, I discovered the magic of adulthood means someone else can plan the menu for a get together, take a dare and live through it, purchase clothes for the grandkids and be the helping hands this world needs. These magical adults can have their own opinions, disagree with mine, change their spiritual direction and move away!  They can move into a house, mop their own floor, fix their own car, shop for food and stay away for months, if they like.  They’ve learned the magic of adulthood and are living it.

So what does this magic mean for me?  freestocks-org-547542-unsplash.jpg

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

The magic of adulthood allows me to move forward, pretend they aren’t sneering at my suggestions or political views, and enjoy their children and their futures from the side.  The magic of adulthood is not just for the children, it’s for all adults.  Music, art, museums without the diaper bag, road trips, laundry for two instead of for five is a snap, and trying new dances or walking paths can be an adventure. Enjoying the passion of entrepreneurial fun for profit, practicing music again, sharing free time as a local volunteer may be rewarding for some.

It’s looking pretty bright out there.

So, here’s to the magic. Here’s to the babies, now grown and gone from my lap. Here’s to the freedom to have beer at breakfast or champagne with lunch.  Here’s to time… to walk, to visit, to read and write.  To play dominoes and cards, to create beautiful gardens and clean guest rooms.  More music, art and museums, too!

The magic of adulthood awaits us, one and all and it’s definitely living better!

National Day of Prayer

One of the things I can do whether retired or beyond busy, is pray.  A quick prayer is as welcome to the Father as a long, deep conversation because the Father loves his children.

Simple. Honest. Bold.

Try it… Father, bless Texas as you see her need.  Amen. 

Texas, my home

Sometimes I find inspiration on Facebook that is real:

“And for a moment, no one cared about statues, politics, race or religion. Everyone came together to help their neighbors, friends and strangers survive. Maybe God chose Texas to lead the way. To show the rest of America how to unify and work together towards a common goal. I have never been more proud to call myself Texan. Copy and Paste.. #Lovethyneighbor #godblesstexas #texasstrong #texasforever #ProudtobeATexan  #wearetexas”
The sun came out today. I’m about 4-5 hrs. north of the disaster. In the thick of the volunteers. We seem to have been spared the rains, but not the worry and concern for those Texans and our guests trapped  in the devastated areas south of here.

They are part of our family as sure as the sun came out!

In my 60+ years in this great state, I’ve seen many demonstrations of big-hearted giving.

Young men from our rural town have gathered their boats, gassed up their trucks and settled their young families.

Young women have filled their cars and SUV’s to head south to help.

The adults are mentoring the volunteers of tomorrow by encouraging them to gather water, clothing, toiletries, and other suitable donations.

The Christians are praying, the government is planning, the people are doing what needs to be done.

In our town, everyone has an opportunity to serve. In our town, children are led by example. In our town, the good citizens lock arms and hearts together and reach out when needed down the road.

Lately, it seems our differences had driven a wedge in our family. The unforgiving and the negative assumptions have closed the minds and hearts of many.

Maybe this rain will soak that wedge to pliable understanding and openness to thoughtful contemplation and unity.

Maybe God will be heard and felt and enjoined with us as we stretch to reach those in need.

Texas has a giant heart.

Move over, Harvey!

Monday

Today MONDAY –  Follow Up Day.

Following up from the weeks’ successes and moving the ‘almosts’ into the water as they decide to “step off the boat”, as my pastor, Chad, shared Sunday- is my Monday goal.

As I sat there 7 rows back,  listening to him, I could just see the incredible realization Peter must have enjoyed when he realized what Jesus was offering him.  His HAND! His SUPPORT! His PROMISE!  I loved that picture in my mind!  When we have the faith to ‘get out of the boat’, we just may find ourselves ‘walking on the water’ as Peter and Jesus did TOGETHER!  It reminded me why I love what I do!

Don’t worry, I didn’t miss the message… we were talking about having faith in seagullour heavenly Father to keep us safe as we do his bidding and move our lives in the right direction for His glory… not ours.  Still, it reminded me why I love what I do!

I can’t help but think of the similarity as I begin my follow up routine this Monday morning.

I’ve seen many people  start to do something they just knew they would love… only to realize their faith in themselves would soon falter and they’d be looking for something else along the way- because their experience wasn’t what they desired.  Many times, they just didn’t think it through or don’t have the skill, money or time to devote to a new endeavor. Sometimes it’s not important enough to acquire the skill, set aside the money or devote the time… but they are positive minded and they should be able to “do it”.

Anyone can think positive for ten minutes. Anyone can throw money at an opportunity and play at business. Anyone can start an exercise routine and anyone can start saving money.  Just because we can, doesn’t always mean we should.

Only the strong can keep a positive attitude when the sales don’t come in, or it’s too hot outside to run, or they really want to buy something outside the self imposed budget.

 

Because sales don’t always come in when we want them.  Sometimes, we need to leave the house and attend a function or spend .69 on a brochure and drive 15 miles to a location and drink sweet tea with a prospective customer before she will spend her hard earned money with us.  Sometimes, she will spend $5.00 and sometimes $50.  BUT, the JOY of meeting people and learning about their needs, and being able to HELP is the best feeling in the world.  Sometimes, we will sweat and do without.

I believe if our faith in our own abilities and willingness to develop ourselves to succeed can thrive, the real winner will be us!  It’s not about selling someone more, it’s about meeting their needs, solving their problem or providing a good example for a new team member.  Doing the right thing for each person is never wrong.

Sometimes someone needs a hand.

In sales, we get to meet an awesome person who allows us to come into her life and get to know her. We get to help her solve problems.  We get to care that she is here on this earth and how she is making out.  Some people need us to care! I’m glad I get to be one of those people.

So back to my Monday Follow Up.  While I know that not every customer buys every time, and not everyone I believe would make a great business partner will , I KNOW success is somewhere, someone down the line. I stay vigilant and caring and yes, positive minded.   I want to call, inquire, share great news and hopefully, provide inspiration.

During the week, I meet new people, visit new places and try new strategies. I gather email addresses and phone numbers, connect with others on social media and through referrals.  I unfold myself to them at the first meeting and strive for a connection.  I pay to play by furnishing the best samples, sales materials and services I can offer. I spend time developing my skill.

 

And then… comes Monday!

Without the follow up, we can’t finish the conversation.

Did I connect? Will they let me in? How will I help? How can I make a difference?  That’s what Follow Up is.  Trying to make a difference… in a friendly, business kind of way.   Helping someone else take a step out and be there to offer the support they need.  Giving my promise to give great service, thoughtful answers and a big hug (or handshake, as needed) .  Doing the right thing for the right person.  Doing this together.

That’s why I love what I do on Monday morning!

Friday… day

Fridays (before retirement) meant the end of a hard working week… at some places I worked.  My last job – not so much.  When you work with lots of people, encouraging them and answering their questions, facilitating their actions… you work when they need you.

When their work is also their past time, it normally involves some weekend contact.  So, Friday’s take on less meaning.  There is no end to your week when you work like that.

So, after a time, I managed to lose my work/life balance.  It wasn’t intentional… it just occurred.  It wasn’t even what the company wanted for me… it just happened. Even the team members  apologized every time they called on the weekend.  I was tired, not clearly focused and in the end, less motivated.

So, really… being available 24/7 didn’t do anyone any good.

I missed the grandchildren’s school programs, trips with girlfriends, seeing my sisters when they all got together, a musical at the local college, the birds building the nest at the edge of the porch, game day at church, my old friend’s funeral, time at the piano, organization meetings and local events I had loved before and most important, meaningful time alone with my love.

Balance is a fleeting skill.  When you don’t exercise the core muscles, you lose your balance.  If you don’t visit, go see the masses, have a drink with a friend, or watch the birds, your core muscles get weak. You can’t stand straight. You can’t carry on a current-content conversation, and you can’t listen to soGorgeous Purple flowersmeone who needs to talk… because you are not there.

So, while I search for that elusive balance in my retirement, I have made a plan.  Every Friday… with intention, I will visit someone I haven’t seen in awhile.  Since I know it’s easiest to start in one’s “warm market”, I’m choosing my friend Dianne for today.  Last week, I stopped to visit my long time friend, Lou, at her volunteer station. We had a great visit and I felt so good when I left.

Today, Dianne… who is a former co-worker and now, friend, has lots of interests. I love to hear about her travels, the music concerts she attends with her husband, her adorable grandsons and of course, her new business interests.  I’ve made a list.

As usual, I am reminded that I don’t think I am through working yet… but I’m exploring the realms of retirement – on my terms – in balance with the rest of my life.

Artful Opinions

What a blistering week we’ve had!

I’ve read the complaining posts on several sites over the last few weeks about the Confederate statues and flag and I have to admit, I had to search for my own personal opinion.

Not that it matters, except that I really don’t like apathy and lately, it seems I have subscribed to it.  So, as I delve closer to the retirement path,  I’ve done some reading… from books…. real books.  I visited a library and found several books with hard backs, comfy paper and black typed words.  I can do that now.

Admittedly, I’ve skimmed them, picking and choosing my paragraphs (at least I’m honest about it) and here’s what I’ve concluded about myself.

I love statues for their art.

I am intrigued at the story of others lives.

Artists and those laborers who assisted, poured their heart, blood, sweat and muscle into the very core of  those projects.  They are mostly beautiful to behold and intricate in detail. Every mouth, hoof and eye are painstakingly designed and formed.  Every pedestal is planned, chiseled and completed to meet the display need.

In full disclosure, I am a 4th generation, direct descendant of a Confederate officer.

I am in agreement that if the offensive statues and monuments were placed there in hate… they should be removed in love.  Peacefully, with a purpose, in order to teach the promise of love.  Rather than destroy beautiful pieces of art, plan their appropriate removal. House them properly and use them to teach our future generations.

Those that were placed in the early years after the war, honoring the services of those who did what their hearts deemed right, are heartwarming tributes to a difficult time for everyone.   The marble monument stands to remind me that my relative was brave enough to stand for his belief when the call to action was sounded.  I didn’t know him, and didn’t know his opinions.  What I know is that he and the others in the small community felt compelled to serve.  He wasn’t apathetic and as far as I can tell, not wealthy or of a particularly high rank in his community until his valor and service deemed him suitable for advancement.

First Lieutenant David Richard Reynolds, CSA monument in cookville
It was the right thing for the time period in this community. To serve meant to act honorable.

Similar instances have occurred throughout our lives.

Vietnam war memorials have been erected and are enjoyed by millions, prompting patriotism and honor for lost family members and community acquaintances.  One day, someone will declare them a tragedy because of the atrocities that occurred and destroy the beautiful tributes to a difficult time.

Each war is strenuous for its citizens.  No war should be forgotten, regardless of the unfavorable sufferings and sorrow of its’ citizens. I would hope my great-grandchildren could have a peaceful way to learn and observe what can happen when the country must exude force.  

This part of transitioning to retirement is an important surprise to me. I have found so much more news and not all of it is hate-filled. But to find the great stories on heroes and everyday good… once must look beyond the obvious outlets.   While the streets are crowded with protesters, demonstrators (both loud and peaceful) and the skylight above is dimming from the nearing eclipse, I  can only hope and pray that someone, somewhere will see the true value in the art… and use it wisely.

I wonder about your opinion.

Morning Retreat

I love the new routine!

Wake when I choose, go through the usual morning stuff on the way to the kitchen and grab that glistening bottle of water I left on the cabinet last night.  I set it out at night to let it warm to room temperature. The rest of the day, I LOVE a cold bottle… but first… it needs to be room temperature.

Tear open some green nutrition and head for the great outdoor retreat (my office). Yes, the “office” has become the retreat instead of the cave I once enjoyed. Can you believe that?

I actually ENJOYED the cave.  It was a place of quiet contemplation, pouring over numbers and opportunities (they call it) for improvement. THAT desk was piled high in notes, books, reports and half-filled bottles of water.  I answered every issue and opportunity with positive encouragement and recommendations, and some guidance.

 

cropped-trees.jpg

Today’s retreat is a little different.  Green all around me.  Crickets and locusts singing and an occasional helicopter taking someone for much needed care.  The sun is gentle from this point of view thanks to the shade of the beautiful trees!  They lock branches to keep the sun filtered and the air cool. The grass needs mowing, as we’ve been blessed with an abundant amount of rain this season.  God’s blessings are right in front of me. I don’t even have to look for them or imagine what He may have meant for me to see. This miracle of nature that I call my office is provided, just for me!

 

Sometime before I go in, I’ll answer emails, send a few messages and check my blog for private messages. I’ll finish writing this and pack up the car for tomorrow’s event.  Two more people to check on and I’m done.   The rest of the day belongs to me.

My morning simplicity makes the day go well. As a friend shared … “doing the things that makes her heart sing!”

Off to the piano… work is done for the day!   What makes your heart sing?

 

Oatmeal Memories

After a recent post where I mentioned the missing oatmeal, I received an email inquiring about the cookies.

Sometimes an event perceived as awful at the time can bring great, lasting humor to a family. The entire family can repeat the incident, but not without tear jerking laughter.

I think it’s amazing the choice of lifetime events we can access from our memories.  The feelings of frustrated embarrassment and the hilarious reactions of the teens present on that particular morning bring me such joy .

Parents spend a ton of thoughtful energy trying to choose the activities that shape and mold or at least provide distraction.Slide44

The outdoor activities – those involving water, sun and sky are the ones that have lasted with my family, the holiday fun – and the kitchen adventures.

Once, after arriving home following a business trip Thanksgiving eve, with 16 or so coming to lunch, I grabbed my recipes and journeyed the seven miles to town to buy groceries.  Well, just imagine what products the store may have been running low on and you can guess the adaptation EVERY recipe would require! It was a catastrophe.  One of the ‘issues’ was the broth for dressing.  So my non-cook brain settled on soup.

Just let me end this quickly for you. Imagine dressing from a meatloaf pan, thick enough to be SLICED, and gray enough to scare anyone off!  To this day, no one even thinks of me when dressing is on the menu.

But, they all remember the day, the laughter and my personal decision to never cook dressing again!!

See, that activity shaped and molded some of the best cooks. I know them all… my children, nieces, husband, brother and in laws. They all have specialties and they all love to cook.  I have to say, the hubs probably became great at cooking out of necessity.

Aren’t I the lucky one?