The last two days have been a tad unusual, and totally joyful. Lots of driving to accomplish this joy, and I like that, too.
On these days, I met girlfriends for lunch.
Before leaving, I chose my outfit carefully, applied by longest lasting lip stain and looked for any jewelry that would pay homage to our past.
Yep, I drove 60 miles on one day and 80 miles the next… one way. To have lunch. It’s not really about lunch. It’s about the girlfriends. The laughs, the reminiscing, the fun and laughter at each others expense. Each “lunch” lasted 2 to 4 hours. Can you imagine if we all took long lunches everyday? Again, it’s not about the food. It’s about the girlfriends.
I am reminded how I used to love to be with them on a regular basis. I know them all from different places and different circumstances. We have lots of things in common. All of have a firm belief in God and feel free identifying that belief by name-unapologetically.
We all love music, either listening, making it or moving to it. We all love food… it appears we love it a lot! We all like wine, mostly red. And, we all love to talk at the same time, sometimes lovingly across each other. Fun!
Photo by: Vonecia Carswell, it’s the girlfriends that make the drive worth the effort.
I get to spend time driving to and from these events because I live further from Dallas. It’s a quiet time of a sort. Time to think about the coming meet up and the past days together. The future, the questions and their opinions I need. Drive time is also talk to God time…for everyone’s travels, their needs and my guidance.
The trip home is best. Letting it sink in and taking time to savor the laughs, the concerns, the prayer requests, the grins and the plans for the next time.
I love having girlfriends. It’s fun to share and touching moments inspire a trust that only girlfriends can claim. Who has time to eat? It’s about the relationships. It’s about the love.
I can’t wait for the next one. Let me think… who is 60 miles away? I need a decent drive. Chica, I’m headed your way!
For me, that meant I get to take baby steps into this new world.
1. I don’t have to dig.
2. I don’t have to plant.
3. I will water.
4. I will shop for plants and other fun stuff.
5. I will still be organizing the world around me. (control freak).
6. I will pay money to NOT dig and plant.
Ha! I enjoy sitting outdoors looking at “our” hard work. When I drive up the driveway, I am pleased and proud that “we” did all that hot work!
Fast forward 4 months. Here we are in January, starting a new project. No girlfriends. Just us. You can pray for us, if you are so inclined.
So step one was to get Ronnie to commit to the project.
Wow! I can’t tell you how many objections I had to overcome. I know that objections are just requests for more information, so I tried to use my best marketing techniques to answer his questions and sell him on the idea.
It must have worked, because three months after I began the campaign, he showed up for the appointment with our new friend Gail at Lowe’s. She’s a magician, let me tell you! We know we are over our head when you talk about construction.
The new project:
The front bathroom. The one our visitors see. Our home is around 30 years old, and it needed to be redone. We didn’t want to spend a lot, just enough to update it for selling purposes, in case we decide to downsize.
We decided to use a GC (General Contractor) to install a simple walk in shower and hardware and replace the vanity and counter top. We were pleased that Gail came by first to take a peek and take some general measurements. Then, she brought the GC by and took even more measurements.
We spent a lot of time talking about what we thought it should look like when it’s done, the colors, textures and any changes we might consider. I really felt like they listened well, and didn’t try to sell us on anything extravagant. The budget was always at the top of mind.
I’ve always loved the furniture vanities popular in some custom homes, so it was decided that I would be in charge of acquiring that piece of furniture and finishing it to match.
Gail found the most beautiful granite top, called Chaldonea, so the race is on!
I searched all the online garage sales and used a couple of apps to locate the perfect piece. A beautiful maple Basset Buffet.
This was a great purchase at $100.00. It will be perfect for the vanity.
Today, I find we are starting in 6 days! We were so excited, it’s like finding out you won a prize! I ran to my favorite “paint” store and quickly got directions from Melanie at Sisters Reclaimed, in our cute little downtown . I picked up a few supplies and off we went!
Step one: WASH the buffet. Really, that’s what she said. With Dawn. That was too easy.
Step two: Ronnie will repair the one drawer that has a loose groove. GLUE.
Step three: Let it dry. I got this!
Step four : Paint. We are using Annie Sloan Graphite… recommended by Melanie. I added three coats of paint, then finished it with a clear wax. I have to say, I almost choked when I saw the price because I haven’t had time to be familiar with the cost of paint lately, but it is so worth the cost. The paint is smooth, pretty and the coverage was thorough. The brush recommended for the wax was awesome. I will treasure it always for future projects.
After three weeks, it appears very durable and I love it!
And BAM! The magic of the internet.
It only took a few days, a couple of guys running in and out of the house and some banging and clanging (which drove Ronnie crazy). I must say, my favorite thing is the buffet and the space we gained.
Finished, well almost. Just a couple small pieces to add to each side to camo the plumbing.
I apologize for the lighting of this picture, but I wanted you to see, because there are still a couple of slight problems with which to deal.
Hardware. The old hardware is quaint and I’m debating about adding some sleek new replacements- in bronze.
The water connectors to the next room. My first thought is to build little “doors” on each side, and finish them to match the buffet-turned-vanity. Another option may be to place inserts that are painted to match the wall, giving the vanity more attention.
I’m still looking for some farmhouse type of container for my airbrush system.
I think I’d love a small flower arrangement in the corner (or a lamp).
I’m curious about your thoughts.
Further, we chose a simple walk in shower insert and opted out of having a shower door because I like (love) my shower curtain, and I don’t like cleaning shower doors and tracks. I replaced the stainless curtain rod with one that matched the shower, and we purchased bronzed fixtures throughout. Ronnie spent a couple hours patching the shower curtain rod holes and touching up the wall and trim paint. We had to rehang the towel and toilet paper holders. I stole the mirror from the mud room bath because it was just asking to be moved to a new home.
When the tub/shower combo was removed, the contractor discovered some work not properly completed during the original construction. After a day of correction and new concrete work, the shower was installed with lots of banging and noise.
Note to self: remove everything from the wall behind the new shower before they start installation!
In all, we are happy with the process. We learned a lot and are still trying to make some decisions regarding the few unexpected items.
We gained 3 inches of floor space… which means my flooring doesn’t fit, so that’s another project, and of course, what to do about the view of the plumbing.
It’s bright, and replacing the tub with a walk-in makes the room look so much larger. The insert cleans easily and the counter top is beautiful. The green is still my favorite.
When I was a kid, my mom and dad would always suggest we “live with it awhile” before making decisions on change. We are at that stage now. We are living with it. Happily.
This project definitely fits with our goals of keeping our projects about living better!
Something happens when you are a young parent. Every baby seems a bit brighter than the last, more talented than the neighbors child and more calm than the kid at the day care. Oh, and those eyes! How adorable and did you know her poop smells sweet?
I remember one evening after work, sitting in my mother in law’s den after dinner talking about all the important lessons I wanted to teach my newborn. Music, (classical, of course) books (Chaucer, thank you) and museums (art!). I went on and on about what was available in our large city and how important it was for my baby to know all of them. She said (probably in an effort to get me to stop talking), “I’m sure you’ll give your baby a wonderful life and then, you’ll have to enjoy the magic of adulthood”. I didn’t understand.
Every child has challenges and rewards… even the golden and seemingly perfect require special attention that keeps a mom busy from daylight to dark.
Teens stretch the boundaries, practicing what we taught them as babies, to see if it will get them to adulthood at a quicker pace. Letting them (and encouraging them) to reach a little further with each experience may be a little tough, but necessary.
How else will they learn to properly react and to make those secondary decisions? Tethers like rules, curfews, dress codes, speed limits, allowances… all are about living better in the future. They are the seatbelt that keeps our children safe in the traffic of life.
Then the true magic happens. They live to adulthood. They graduate, make a few decisions, regret a few choices and reboot to survive nicely… without you. Making that adjustment is easier for some parents (and children) than others. It can be a sad time or a glorious freeing time.
Some however, must be stuck in the middle for a bit. Being stuck in the middle can be an obvious bother to the new adult and the parent… that’s where I was for a long time. Stuck in the middle. Between their childhood and their adulthood. Between guiding and nurturing and helping them move on! Eventually, they move and finding your place becomes a little more difficult.
Stuck in the middle is like being forced to live the life of a wall flower. With emotions swelling up when you (think you know) know the answer, they won’t listen and both are afraid to take that step out – for fear of offending someone or being outdated and just flat wrong, or being ridiculed for a belief. After spending years as the teacher, all of a sudden they can think for themselves and you wonder… “who told them they could do that”? It’s humorous when you think of it.
Just recently, I discovered the magic of adulthood means someone else can plan the menu for a get together, take a dare and live through it, purchase clothes for the grandkids and be the helping hands this world needs. These magical adults can have their own opinions, disagree with mine, change their spiritual direction and move away! They can move into a house, mop their own floor, fix their own car, shop for food and stay away for months, if they like. They’ve learned the magic of adulthood and are living it.
The magic of adulthood allows me to move forward, pretend they aren’t sneering at my suggestions or political views, and enjoy their children and their futures from the side. The magic of adulthood is not just for the children, it’s for all adults. Music, art, museums without the diaper bag, road trips, laundry for two instead of for five is a snap, and trying new dances or walking paths can be an adventure. Enjoying the passion of entrepreneurial fun for profit, practicing music again, sharing free time as a local volunteer may be rewarding for some.
It’s looking pretty bright out there.
So, here’s to the magic. Here’s to the babies, now grown and gone from my lap. Here’s to the freedom to have beer at breakfast or champagne with lunch. Here’s to time… to walk, to visit, to read and write. To play dominoes and cards, to create beautiful gardens and clean guest rooms. More music, art and museums, too!
The magic of adulthood awaits us, one and all and it’s definitely living better!
Thursdays are Grandma and Poppie Night at our home in Texas.
The two youngest grands use the IPhone (better than us) to call and share their week with us. It’s truly a blessing to watch them grow, even when we can’t be in the same location. They are so funny and we truly enjoy their laughter over the phone. I wish I could have stayed in touch with my grandma like that.
Our princess told us about Elon Musk last week. She’s fascinated. She has real books that are read at her request and after she hears the story, she absorbs the info like a super thirsty sponge.
You should see her eyes twinkle as she thinks of questions to ask. She can tell you when he built his first rocket, the consequences of that take off and his goals for the future, among other things. Then with a bound, she’s on top of the “stage” tapping away and demonstrating the new steps from dance class.
She’s 3!
Isn’t it a great thing that little girls can be princesses in pink tulle, interested in science and get excited about going to dance class in the same day? I’m thrilled for her future.
She and her brother are close… like the sun and the sky. They are brilliantly being challenged by their parents and intentionally led to explore this world of ours.
Times have changed. I remember my mom saying that same thing: times have changed! Times change, thank goodness. What a boring world this would be if time stood still.
While I question many millennials attitudes about politics and religion, the young parents of today have new obstacles and great opportunities to give their children the future they deserve -just like we did. The challenges are similar, but move faster. The roles are no longer defined, but blended – as it should be.
Both women and men can work for themselves, work for someone else, create their own earning opportunity and write about it! Equally, life is available to be lived. No defining categories needed – just life. And balance. Balancing independence and togetherness is just as important as work and home balance.
My own millennials are doing an exceptional job of building our future! I hope they continue calling on Thursdays, after the grands are too busy and I have to resort to texting (will we still text?).
Family is forever and always important – funny how that never changes.
Trixie is still here! She’s still our baby. When the fireworks started she came a runnin’!
Her secure spot is anywhere she can get to rub against us. Either under our feet, on the sofa next to us (#$#$%^&), or with her head safely tucked on our laps. She moves from one person to the next until she feels safe.
This morning she was raring for a walk (since she wouldn’t go out last night). It was just before daylight and the wind was whispering: “I dare you to come out… I’ll hold the rain back until you get at least 1/2 mile from the house”. The birds were just barely singing and the world was still quiet. No cars… just Trixie and I walking up the hill to our target turn around, and the wind. She’s a great walker. Slowly and surely she walks ahead, checking out all the new roadside adventures. Today, a turtle waited for us- yesterday it was a Texas speed bump. They sniffed at each other and the walk continued. She took a sniff at the fresh grass and the overflowing pond across the way. I enjoy the peace that comes in the morning walk – the stretch my legs needed so badly after a nights rest. And the rain came… 1/2 mile before we reached home again.
THEN… BOOM! Thunder struck and here comes Trixie… to the safe place, under my finger tips… all the way home in the rain.
Hmmm… it’s raining out and it’s a delightful color of green. The flowers are drooping with the weight of the rain – cat napping, if you will. Waiting for the sun to beckon their attention.
The cat is enjoying the rainwater from the bowl of flowers on the coffee table. I’m not sure why she prefers this water over the water in her own little bowl, but she does. She’s been with me almost as long as my children. She has her own place at the foot of the bed and on the end of the couch.
Today, she is sleeping most of the time… at the other end of the couch. And, I’m joining her in sleep… on my end of the same couch. The rain is tapping on the skylights and we’re just cat-napping the day away.
lillmi 